Showing posts with label Life in General. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life in General. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Amusing Ads...

Why do politicians want to make a fool of themselves by getting their photographs embedded in ridiculous places... Some of the public service ads like this one amuse me no ends.

Why are the faces of ministers on this advertisement - in place of maybe some scary images of insects.

Or is it just to tell people what all kind of dangerous parasites we have around us...? Mosquitos, politicians...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Look what Terrorists have achieved...


Indian Premier League has become Non-Resident-Indian Premier League now...

No, this blog isn't about cricket and the concerns from a cricket lovers point of view, but only the pain of an Indian who sees terrorists win.

19 years ago, the Islamic terrorists managed to hound out a helpless and voiceless community from the Kashmir valley, only because they were not of same faith. Kashmiri Pandits have been living in exile for almost two decades now...

And now, they have managed to drive out something Indian call their second-religion out of India. Jaish', HuJI, LeT et all must be celebrating this win...

Kashmiri Pandits only left the valley - went up till Jammu and Delhi. Cricket has been driven out of the sub-continent...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

India... Olympics and the future...

Posting after a long hiatus... A lot happened in the meanwhile, which I may have wanted to comment on - but didn't find the time or the energy to... and this one would be a brief one too...


The Beijing Olympics is over... and we (all TV Channels) are over the moon with 3 medals... Doesn't matter a single Phelps or Usain Bolt won more than most nations... And I don't quite relate to the over excitement with the 3 medals or even with the post-mortem we always do - on why a country of a billion cant win more... As Vijay mentioned in his blog - a medals tally with GDP factored in is needed, and we may find interesting alterations like Kenya or Jamaica leading the tally.

But why this post?

I think I have a solution for London 2012. A solution to ensure that we go
higher in the medals tally from here on...

How - Lets call it the UPA or JMM Plan...!!!

The UPA government saved itself easily - striking some deals. Shibu Soren is all set to become the Chief Minister of Jharkhand in lieu of the support he extended to UPA during the trust vote. Cash for vote was the other route which possibly helped the government of the day...

Let's just offer something similar to atheletes from Kenya, Jamaica and other countries possibly with lesser GDP than India... I don't expect a Phelps to take the offer...
A 5 year stint as a CM in a state for a gold medal...

Cabinet Ministership for a Silver medal...
MPship for a Bronze medal...

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Tibet...Olympic Torch... and Aamir...


For last few days... there has been ample debate about Baichung Bhutia's refusal to carry the Olympic Torch when its in India, in support of the Tibetan cause... and Aamir/Saif's refusal to refuse.

While supporters of Tibetan cause believe that Aamir/Saif should boycott the torch run in support of the Tibetans who have made India their home now... there are many others who suggest that Olympics is not about China and the spirit of the game and all that...

Aamir has explained his own position in his blog here... making clear that he would not boycott - for blah blah reasons. He argues that all governments in the world commit human right violations and thus, its not a reason enough to protest and refuse to associate with the Olympic torch...

Now... if you read between the lines - what he basically wants to say – but doesn't have the balls to say is:

"Coca-Cola, Toyota and all other brands which pay me millions have commercial interests in China; and Olympics is the biggest marketing exercise. So there is no way I can disassociate.

Come on!!! If Coca-Cola were to get in infrastructure development projects - I would be actually doing events in support of Narmada dam as well... Not against it. Gujarat bashing etc – just suits RDB my image…"

Forget - Tibet. Does Mr "Supporter of those displaced in Narmada Dam" even have an idea how many villages the Chinese dictators uprooted overnight to create the Olympic infrastructure...?

Double standards? Myopia...? Or just plain commerce...

PS:
This takes away nothing from the fact that he is an awesome actor - who made most of India wake-up with TZP... but then he needs to stop acting in real life and get down from that self created high pedestal of free ideology... and admit that its 'pure commerce' that works...


Sunday, January 06, 2008

Shame Shame Ponting...Shame Shame ICC !!!

Today the cricket match in Sydney ended – with lot more drama than cricket.

For the record, Australia won the test match in the second last over… and that’s what the world will remember few years down the line. More than that, it would be remembered for the 16 consecutive wins of the Australian team.

And just as the breaking news flashing on screens… now Harbhajan Singh has been handed a 3 match ban for a supposedly racist slur made against Andrew Symonds.

But the ugly underbelly of this match…doesn’t end here.

The three umpires (3rd umpire included) gave a terrible 12 decisions against Indian team…forcing a defeat on India. India was playing against 14 players, it seemed. Both Steve Bucknor and Benson seemed like they were playing for Cricket Australia.

As my wife has been sniffing, Ricky Ponting had a huge prestigious record up for stake – 16 consecutive wins like the one Steve Waugh had earlier. So did he go all-out to ensure the win…? After all, if match fixing can be done by bribing a bunch of players, it’s far easier to fix it by getting just 3 umpires towards you.

Andrew Symonds given not-out thrice and he went on to make a huge score (162). Rickey Ponting given not-out caught behind and he scored double from there on. Steve Bucknor even refusing to refer decisions to third umpire. But what the hell, even the third umpire too acted blind to give wrong decisions in favour of Aussies… Dravid given out today when there was a gap as big as Steve Bucknor’s head between the bat and ball. Ganguly given out by Ricky Ponting – not the umpires. Wasim Jaffer given out on a no-ball. And many more… Heck… India wasn’t playing to win… India had to play to survive a ruckus of cheating and fraud today.

Even if half of these decisions had been given honestly – India was bound to win this match.

But the day ended with even more bizarre news… Harbhajan Singh accused of a racial slur by Aussie all-rounder Symonds. As per known statements of the match refree and the umpires, they didn’t hear or see any thing. The on-screen visuals show that it was Andrew Symonds who walked up to the batsman and said something… Umpires heard no racial comment coming from Singh…the mikes recorded nothing. But since a bunch of white-skinned players are ready to stand witness for their team mate – who were no where close to the either of them when the supposed altercation happened on the pitch; the verdict has been given against Bhajji. The witnesses from India (Sachin – who was on the pitch) be damned. On another occasion, the umpires took the opinion of Ricky Ponting for a decision – against Saurav. That too when Ricky had just earlier appealed blatantly for a fake catch, and for Micheal Clark – who refused to walk yesterday for a very clear dismissal. Ricky himself proved that his integrity can not be trusted – given that he didn’t walk when he was caught in the previous innings.

So what’s the picture we get…

If a white player gives witness for something they were no close to – it must be true. No matter if a non-white player was present there on the pitch and says nothing happened. If a white man says he said it, he must have….

If a white player says that the catch was clean – he can’t be lying… No matter what the TV camera’s show. If Ricky picked a catch from turf or Clark picked a bump ball, as long as they say it was clean – they must be correct. The truth be damned…

To me – that is racism…!!!

ICC must be banned for owning such a racist game…

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Great Indians...!!!

Normally, I don't like all those "Proud to be an Indian" emails floating around... Not because I am not proud to be an Indian, but because they tend to be make a 'head-in-sand' impression, making Indians revel in the glorious past and ignore the sad state of the present day India..

But when this email came floating bye...for some reason I felt like archiving it here... Maybe it's just the pictures which make it different.



ARYABHATT
(476 CE) MASTER ASTRONOMER AND MATHEMATICIAN


Born in 476 CE in Kusumpur (Bihar), Aryabhatt's intellectual brilliance remapped the boundaries of mathematics and astronomy. In 499 CE, at the age of 23, he wrote a text on astronomy and an unparallel treatise on mathematics called "Aryabhatiyam." He formulated the process of calculating the motion of planets and the time of eclipses. Aryabhatt was the first to proclaim that the earth is round, it rotates on its axis, orbits the sun and is suspended in space - 1000 years before Copernicus published his heliocentric theory. He is also acknowledged for calculating p (Pi) to four decimal places: 3.1416 and the sine table in trigonometry. Centuries later, in 825 CE, the Arab mathematician, Mohammed Ibna Musa credited the value of Pi to the Indians, "This value has been given by the Hindus." And above all, his most spectacular contribution was the concept of zero without which modern computer technology would have been non-existent. Aryabhatt was a colossus in the field of mathematics.

BHASKARACHARYA II

(1114-1183 CE)


GENIUS IN ALGEBRA

Born in the obscure village of Vijjadit (Jalgaon) in Maharastra, Bhaskaracharya's work in Algebra, Arithmetic and Geometry catapulted him to fame and immortality. His renowned mathematical works called "Lilavati" and "Bijaganita" are considered to be unparalled and a memorial to his profound intelligence. Its translation in several languages of the world bear testimony to its eminence. In his treatise "Siddhant Shiromani" he writes on planetary positions, eclipses, cosmography, mathematical techniques and astronomical equipment. In the "Surya Siddhant" he makes a note on the force of gravity: "Objects fall on earth due to a force of attraction by the earth. Therefore, the earth, planets, constellations, moon, and sun are held in orbit due to this attraction." Bhaskaracharya was the first to discover gravity, 500 years before Sir Isaac Newton. He was the champion among mathematicians of ancient and medieval India. His works fired the imagination of Persian and European scholars, who through research on his works earned fame and popularity.

ACHARYA KANAD

(600 BCE)


FOUNDER OF ATOMIC THEORY

As the founder of "Vaisheshik Darshan"- one of six principal philosophies of India - Acharya Kanad was a genius in philosophy. He is believed to have been born in Prabhas Kshetra near Dwarika in Gujarat. He was the pioneer expounder of realism, law of causation and the atomic theory. He has classified all the objects of creation into nine elements, namely: earth, water, light, wind, ether, time, space, mind and soul. He says, "Every object of creation is made of atoms which in turn connect with each other to form molecules." His statement ushered in the Atomic Theory for the first time ever in the world, nearly 2500 years before John Dalton. Kanad has also described the dimension and motion of atoms and their chemical reactions with each other. The eminent historian, T.N. Colebrook, has said, "Compared to the scientists of Europe, Kanad and other Indian scientists were the global masters of this field."

NAGARJUNA (100 CE)


WIZARD OF CHEMICAL SCIENCE
He was an extraordinary wizard of science born in the nondescript village of Baluka in Madhya Pradesh. His dedicated research for twelve years produced maiden discoveries and inventions in the faculties of chemistry and metallurgy. Textual masterpieces like "Ras Ratnakar," "Rashrudaya" and "Rasendramangal" are his renowned contributions to the science of chemistry. Where the medieval alchemists of England failed, Nagarjuna had discovered the alchemy of transmuting base metals into gold. As the author of medical books like "Arogyamanjari" and "Yogasar," he also made significant contributions to the field of curative medicine. Because of his profound scholarliness and versatile knowledge, he was appointed as Chancellor of the famous University of Nalanda. Nagarjuna's milestone discoveries impress and astonish the scientists of today.

ACHARYA CHARAK

(600 BCE)

FATHER OF MEDICINE
Acharya Charak has been crowned as the Father of Medicine. His renowned work, the "Charak Samhita", is considered as an encyclopedia of Ayurveda. His principles, diagoneses, and cures retain their potency and truth even after a couple of millennia. When the science of anatomy was confused with different theories in Europe, Acharya Charak revealed through his innate genius and enquiries the facts on human anatomy, embryology, pharmacology, blood circulation and diseases like diabetes, tuberculosis, heart disease, etc. In the "Charak Samhita" he has described the medicinal qualities and functions of 100,000 herbal plants. He has emphasized the influence of diet and activity on mind and body. He has proved the correlation of spirituality and physical health contributed greatly to diagnostic and curative sciences. He has also prescribed and ethical charter for medical practitioners two centuries prior to the Hippocratic oath. Through his genius and intuition, Acharya Charak made landmark contributions to Ayurvedal. He forever remains etched in the annals of history as one of the greatest and noblest of rishi-scientists.


ACHARYA SUSHRUT (600 BCE)


FATHER OF PLASTIC SURGERY

A genius who has been glowingly recognized in the annals of medical science. Born to sage Vishwamitra, Acharya Sudhrut details the first ever surgery procedures in "Sushrut Samhita," a unique encyclopedia of surgery. He is venerated as the father of plastic surgery and the science of anesthesia. When surgery was in its infancy in Europe, Sushrut was performing Rhinoplasty (restoration of a damaged nose) and other challenging operations. In the "Sushrut Samhita," he prescribes treatment for twelve types of fractures and six types of dislocations. His details on human embryology are simply amazing. Sushrut used 125 types of surgical instruments including scalpels, lancets, needles, Cathers and rectal speculums; mostly designed from the jaws of animals and birds. He has also described a number of stitching methods; the use of horse's hair as thread and fibers of bark. In the "Sushrut Samhita," and fibers of bark. In the "Sushrut Samhita," he details 300 types of operations. The ancient Indians were the pioneers in amputation, caesarian and cranial surgeries. Acharya Sushrut was a giant in the arena of medical science.


VARAHAMIHIR (499-587 CE)


EMINENT ASTROLOGER AND ASTRONOMERA

renowned astrologer and astronomer who was honored with a special decoration and status as one of the nine gems in the court of King Vikramaditya in Avanti (Ujjain). Varahamihir's book "panchsiddhant" holds a prominent place in the realm of astronomy. He notes that the moon and planets are lustrous not because of their own light but due to sunlight. In the "Bruhad Samhita" and "Bruhad Jatak," he has revealed his discoveries in the domains of geography, constellation, science, botany and animal science. In his treatise on botanical science, Varamihir presents cures for various diseases afflicting plants and trees. The rishi-scientist survives through his unique contributions to the science of astrology and astronomy.

ACHARYA PATANJALI (200 BCE)

FATHER OF YOGA
The Science of Yoga is one of several unique contributions of India to the world. It seeks to discover and realize the ultimate Reality through yogic practices. Acharya Patanjali, the founder, hailed from the district of Gonda (Ganara) in Uttar Pradesh. He prescribed the control of prana (life breath) as the means to control the body, mind and soul. This subsequently rewards one with good health and inner happiness. Acharya Patanjali's 84 yogic postures effectively enhance the efficiency of the respiratory, circulatory, nervous, digestive and endocrine systems and many other organs of the body. Yoga has eight limbs where Acharya Patanjali shows the attainment of the ultimate bliss of God in samadhi through the disciplines of: yam, niyam, asan, pranayam, pratyahar, dhyan and dharna. The Science of Yoga has gained popularity because of its scientific approach and benefits. Yoga also holds the honored place as one of six philosophies in the Indian philosophical system. Acharya Patanjali will forever be remembered and revered as a pioneer in the science of self-discipline, happiness and self-realization.

ACHARYA BHARADWAJ (800 BCE)

PIONEER OF AVIATION TECHNOLOGY
Acharya Bharadwaj had a hermitage in the holy city of Prayag and was an ordent apostle of Ayurveda and mechanical sciences. He authored the "Yantra Sarvasva" which includes astonishing and outstanding discoveries in aviation science, space science and flying machines. He has described three categories of flying machines: 1.) One that flies on earth from one place to another. 2.) One that travels from one planet to another. 3.) And One that travels from one universe to another. His designs and descriptions have impressed and amazed aviation engineers of today. His brilliance in aviation technology is further reflected through techniques described by him:
1.) Profound Secret: The technique to make a flying machine invisible through the application of sunlight and wind force.
2.) Living Secret: The technique to make an invisible space machine visible through the application of electrical force.
3.) Secret of Eavesdropping: The technique to listen to a conversation in another plane.
4.) Visual Secrets: The technique to see what's happening inside another plane.
Through his innovative and brilliant discoveries, Acharya Bharadwaj has been recognized as the pioneer of aviation technology.

ACHARYA KAPIL (3000 BCE)

FATHER OF COSMOLOGY

Celebrated as the founder of Sankhya philosophy, Acharya Kapil is believed to have been born in 3000 BCE to the illustrious sage Kardam and Devhuti. He gifted the world with the Sankhya School of Thought. His pioneering work threw light on the nature and principles of the ultimate Soul (Purusha), primal matter (Prakruti) and creation. His concept of transformation of energy and profound commentaries on atma, non-atma and the subtle elements of the cosmos places him in an elite class of master achievers - incomparable to the discoveries of other cosmologists. On his assertion that Prakruti, with the inspiration of Purusha, is the mother of cosmic creation and all energies, he contributed a new chapter in the science of cosmology. Because of his extrasensory observations and revelations on the secrets of creation, he is recognized and saluted as the Father of Cosmology.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Kyunki Junta Bhi Pagal hai…

Over years, audiences have gotten used to Ekta Kapoor hyping and promoting her otherwise un-‘kCharismatic’ brother Tushar Kapoor and her other serials/movies through her tele-tortures.

But yesterday, I got the shock of my life… when in one of her serials on Star Plus, the whole Virani family was shown blatantly promoting “Karyasiddhi Graha Shanti Dhoop”. I didn’t notice the promo till they focussed on the packing which carried Ekta Kapoor’s picture on it. What got my goat was the shameless promotion done in the soap. It seemed like a paid advertisement instead of soap… I for a while thought it was a joke or a spoof, till my wife (who happens to be the know all of tube-world and soaps… and the reason I have to watch this stuff) confirmed that it was indeed a product Ekta had launched in the market.

I am still amused as to why a media house like Balaji Telefilms would diversify into manufacturing ‘dhoop’ and incense sticks – maybe coz it didn’t make sense to make toiletries like toothpaste and shampoo, given their portfolio of soaps sucks… and coz they have 300+ year old brand ambassadors like Baa’ to cash in on.

I was left wondering if people will actually buy this product…imagine buying Graha Shanti Dhoop from Ekta Kapoor – to get the kind peace Aggrawal’s, Bajaj’s, Basu’s, Virani’s etc have in her stories. Damn!!! I would believe this dhoop if anything is a curse – to never-ending family feuds, conspiring relatives, multiple failed marriages, women with multiple husbands, men with multiple affairs and marriages, illegitimate children and what not.

Do you want such ‘Graha shanti’ in your home…? At least I don’t want the kahani of ‘Kahani Ghar Ghar ki’ to be the kahani of my ghar…

Yeah yeah… I know the co-relation is illogical. After-all, using Anchor toothpaste doesn’t mean your teeth get electrified. Huh… but Ekta Kapoor Dhoop… still makes me laugh.

This thread reminds me of another news item from last month which referred to a survey revealing “that jawans posted to remote locations around the country love watching saas-bahu serials to de-stress in hostile terrains. Do you know how it de-stresses them? Well, simple. They figure out that they could in far more stressful situations back at home than dealing with the terrorists here, just if the “kahani of their homes were to be just a shade of kahanis of Ekta’s homes”

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Tele-Marketing jokers..!!

Industry pundits and news reports tell us that there are about 180 million mobile phone subscribers in India, growing rapidly at 5-6 million each month.

I wonder how many of the 180 million have been spared by the telemarketers so far.

Not many…!!! Must be just a handful of lucky one’s who are yet to get an irritating tele-marketing call.

I, like most of the other harassed customers still get 2-3 calls a week, in spite of having signed up for all DND lists I know of. Most callers’ still don’t understand my disgust and anger – and call back within seconds of me blasting them and cutting the call. Offers for personal/home/auto loans, credit cards, vacation packages, membership to Country club, etc are a routine.

Responses on being asked to not-call again from dumb tele-marketers like this one “Why sir, why don’t you need a loan?” are old news now.

But this one I got the other day just took the cake…



Tele-marketer(TM): Sir, I am calling from XYZ Bank. We have a great offer for you, Sir. We are offering a life time free credit card to all employees of your company.

Me: Wait!!! I don’t want any credit cards, loans, memberships… nothing at all.

TM: Sir, please give me a minute to explain. Sir, we have a special offer going exclusively for your company. All employees of your company can avail of this special offer specially designed for you – since you are our preferred customer.

Me: Wait…!!! How am I your preferred customer? I never dealt with you…

TM: No Sir, your company is our preferred customer.

Me: I am sure my company has no dealing with you at all. My salary account isn’t in your bank either.

TM: Sir, this is a special offer designed for your company only.

Me: Which company? Do you know which company I work for…?

TM: (silence)…

TM: Sir…can you tell me which company you work for?

Me: But you have a special offer specifically designed for my employer. So you should know…

TM: Yes Sir… (silence)

TM: Sir, we can offer this special package for you also, your company too. Employer doesn’t matter. We have given this offer to many companies in Bangalore. Most IT companies have enrolled for it.

Me: But just 1 minute back it was an exclusive offer just for my company, because of being a privileged customer. Are all IT companies in Bangalore your special customers?

TM: (Silence)…

Me: How do you even know I work for an IT company?

TM: (Silence)…

TM: What company you work for then?

Me: Keep guessing… (Cut)

Friday, June 22, 2007

One-Upmanship in Indian TV: Quite Literally!!!

Continuing on my previous post on the spate of talent hunt contests going on across TV channels in India, and the mindless TRP hunts they are involved in… I was amused by an interesting aspect of one-upmanship going on between Sony, Star and Zee.



Sony’s Indian Idol originally started the race – having 3 judges on the panel. (Sonu, Farah and Annu Malik)

Zee thought they need to be one step ahead. So when Zee started its Saregama talent hunt – they got in 4 (3 guru’s and a rotating judge). Then came Star TV – with its own “Voice of India” contest. Aah… but 3 judges or 4 judge shows had already been done. So they innovate – by introducing a 5 judge panel. Wow!! What a master-stroke!! How Innovative!!! No wonder 5 judges will give more drama and action than 4 or 3 judges.

I wonder what the hell the creative gurus in these channels eat for breakfast. Can’t be the normal stuff you and I eat – because with that stuff going in, we would assume that this is stupid differentiation. But maybe not for them.

This actually reminds me of a scene from the english movie "Something About Mary" - where a rather pshyco kind of man tells the lead actor of his new revolutionary idea. He intended to capture the health and fitness market by beating the popular "8 minutes to fitness" videos by coming up with a "7 minutes to fitness" video. Bulb!!! Some of these creative heads in these channels must have absorbed this really well.

Another trend – rather fad catching on is having a 30% reservation for contestants from Pakistan. This was started by Laughter Challenge show on StarOne. And well – how could others not copy it to be innovative and different. They have had a long trend of uniqueness in their shows for ages – so what is all the serials in all the channels are the same or even cooked by the same chef. Or when one KBC kicked off a chain of me-too's. Or even the spate of imitation laughter shows flooding the channels.

Is the Indian audience really so dumb?

Friday, May 11, 2007

Good Samaritan!!!


I should have posted this earlier… but better late than never.

This is just to acknowledge and thank an unknown ‘Good Samaritan’ who came to our rescue at an odd hour – even though we were pre-condition to suspect him.

On our way back from a friends place, we ended up with a flat tyre while driving on the Outer Ring Road stretch between KR Puram and Marathali in Bangalore. It was past 10pm and as anyone who has read through the crime reports in TOI Bangalore would know the track record of such unlit wide stretches in Bangalore. Stranded midway between Bhagini and Marathali Bridge at an almost deserted point, there was no way to either go back to the nearest landmark or leave the vehicle there. Called up the mobile puncture service guy I had on my phonebook – only to find the cell phone switched off. Called up my friend whose place we had just visited to solicit help. Groping through the darkness, managed to retrieve the wrench and jack – all the while keeping a keen watch on the vehicles approaching us. Each biker slowing down near us was a cause for alarm and a suspect. Having heard and read of several stories of techie getting mugged, kidnapped and murdered in such spots, there was no room for easiness. My wife took off whatever gold she had on her and tucked it inside the car.

In some time, my friend arrived – and together we tried our hand at getting the jack into the right spot to change the tyre, under the light of a small hand torch. No wonder, the ‘keyboard junkie techies’ that all of us are – we struggled with getting it right for a while.

It took us some time to figure out the right approach – and by that we were already wary of the success we could achieve. While we were still bent down looking under the car and struggling with the jack, a man in late 20’s walked up behind us from no where and asked “Do you need help?”. All three of us looked at him with reasonable hope but also a lot of suspicion. Where did he suddenly come from…? From his looks we mentally graded him as a ruffian and conversed amongst ourselves in our native language – that we should be careful. My friend assured that he had his cricket bat handy in his car boot to ward off a threat – should a need arise. I was glad that I was holding the iron rod/wrench used to raise the jack. But we did need help… so after scanning the surroundings for any hidden accomplices, we reluctantly handed him the wrench…and he instantly got onto the job. And he did indeed know how to change a tyre…unlike three of us “engineering degrees” holders.

10 minutes into the job, tyre was changed and car in shape to run again. By now we were ashamed of our suspicion for the guy and thanking our stars that we didn’t let him know of our suspicion about him. Otherwise it would have been hurtful of a genuine person. Even as we were trying to figure out how to thank him – and what monetary reward we should offer him – he instantly and briskly walked off towards a tempo standing at some distance. Our requests not withstanding, he refused to wait or accept any money. He was actually the driver of that tempo/goods carrier, and having seen us stranded stopped at a distance, just to help us. And here we were all ready to brand him a suspect…

While our suspicion wasn’t altogether unjustified under the current times we live in, we did feel a sense of shame on ourselves (- and also for not being good enough even to change your own tyre).

This post is just a “Thank you” note to the good intentions of every such Indian...

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Indian Idol 3 - Idle Indians...

Indian Idol is back

Watching the snapshots of Indian Idol Season-3 today on television, I was left wondering... "What the hell are most of these people thinking?"

Don't get me wrong... of course there are a handful of good talented singers out there.

But what is the vast majority of the crowd out there thinking... worse so what kind of feedback have their friends, parents and well wishers given them. Most of them can't sing a line right... even a stone deaf person can tell that they have no business even singing in their own bathrooms – least of all coming for an audition. Yet there are such characters in hordes' each time, making complete fools of themselves on camera in front of the whole nation.

Are we a nation of hugely delusional people? Or is it a new pass time to prove how stupid you can be to the whole nation? Most of the time, the audition rounds look more like a laughter show than a music talent search... Do these folks really believe that they are 'good' singers… didn't their friends or people at home show them the mirror…? Its actually funnily shocking to see parents and guardians of some of these people get wild when their wards are rejected...Geez!!! smell some coffee.

But then maybe many of them are banking on just being sheer lucky to get a ticket to Mumbai – and then hope that some regional vote bank will catch fancy of them and push their envelope further. It's not impossible – we have seen Qazi Tauqeer get to the top with less than a spoonful of singing talent, or a Sanjay Malakar fight it out for long with just popular vote bank support.


Why does the channel actually show all this to viewers instead of cutting straight to the selected lot? Maybe Sony is indeed fighting the dilemma of combating TRPs of both Star One's Laughter Challenge and Zee's "Music Challenge" at the same time... thereby making the initial rounds of the music search more of a comedy show.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

VIRUS ATTACK...

Got this over email from Shrimati ji... interesting interpretation of somethings interesting. Happy weekend...


There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and
By hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else
Via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life
Completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two
Good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as
Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or
Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote
Repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends,
you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Friday, February 23, 2007

To Dear Mr Finance Minister!!!

It’s the Budget season again…and every one has a guess on what PC might have in store this Feb 28th. There is guesswork at play whether he will reduce the tax slab, move to EET for most tax exempt savings, increase the saving limits, reduce VAT on housing projects, waive off FBT, etc…


Let me not add to any guess work. On contrary I have some suggestions for PC – steps which will yield him much higher tax collections, and hopefully that can allow him to give some respite to a common man like me.

Some new taxes should be imposed on

  • All film award shows. Come January, you have an award show being conducted every weekend – Filmfare, Screen, Zee, Gifa iffa, fifa rita sita geeta awards… Even television has N awards…HHITA, ekta kapoor shows awards, parivar awards, saas-bahu awards, Star Parivaar, Sony ka Parivaar… A simple “Award show Tax” should be imposed. AT at 40% of ticket collections, 5% of the show revenue and 5% of the revenue of the award winner. Hopefully, this will stop the me-too awards proliferating any further – and dissuade each Tom-Dick-Harry vying for them – and hopefully bring back some relevance and value to an ‘award’.
  • Ekta Kapoor and ilk. Tax their earnings at an addition 10% for each instance of a ‘Mihir’ changing or a dead character reappearing. 20% extra levied on earnings each time a character is shown living beyond 100 years. 5% extra each time there is a mother who looks 10 years younger than her on-screen kids. All serials, TV shows, movies with names starting with a ‘K’ will be taxed at 50% - call it a ‘Ekta tax’. A 10% surcharge levied each time a serial takes a 10-20 year leap. A special tax rebate should however be offered on serials which close within 100 episodes (as spare the audience benefit)
  • All Reality shows. 50% revenue from SMS’s votes/opinions/messages sent in. All SMS’s for give your opinion and vote – things which don’t count at all. The collections from this tax be given to TRAI for some cell-phone consumer welfare.
  • India is a cricket sick country. We need some health insurance for people to recover from cricket mania. This can be generated by a cess on Crickets endorsement earning towards this fund. Any cricketer in ICC top 10 rankings get taxed only 10%. Cricketers in ICC 10-20 rankings will get taxed at 20% of their earnings… and so on with an 10% increment for each bracket. So, this would ensure that the cricketers strive more for excellence in the field than in the studios’… If they do, the cricket heart-breaks will reduce. If they don’t, there will be enough tax collections to fund the heart-break treatments.
  • Tax MP’s at the %age of time they spent in parliament causing or being part of walkouts and ruckus. Parliamentarians who spent 100% time should have their earnings (white and black both) fully tax exempt. A tough one to implement.
  • Have you ever taken a look at the cost of living in Bangalore…? Its as costly as any other metro… Yet the tax deduction rate for HRA is just 40% of HRA. This ought to be at par with the other metros. Hey this is a serious suggestion…!!!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Crazy kiya re!!

Cell woes… A Buyer’s dilemma…

Today I spent a good time of an otherwise fine Saturday – roaming the markets of Bangalore in search of my next mobile handset. Having browsed and researched different models in my shortlist over weeks now – I finally thought it was time to head to the shop and have a touch and feel decision. After all, reviews and user feedback on all these websites would tell only that much – and not make the decision for me.

Armed with a basic shortlist of 4-5 models: Nokia 5300, Nokia 5200, Sony Ericsson 700i, Sony Ericsson W550i/Z550i, Motorola Rizr Z3, LG Chocolate, Samsung Ultra X820, I went around hopping from one showroom/dealer to another – looking for the right bargain. But the hop-a-shop exercise turned out to be a rather interesting one – leaving a confused, undecided and rather introspecting me head back home without a new handset.

Having used my old Nokia 3530 to death and then the current Samsung one to its live-a-day battery state now, I must confess that I am not the current to the trend type of a person. I am not the one to buy a new model or the latest in-thing just because it’s cool and it’s in – unless I need it. Old school… I guess.

And somehow I did convince myself that the need of having to recharge my cell phone every night – is reason enough to get a new one.

But it didn’t seem so easy after all – at least for the old school person I am. Hey, but I am still on the right side of age and right side of the yuppie generation. But it didn’t help me when the sales guy would try to edge me towards a pricier model – for obvious reason – by just highlighting the additional features it had. “Sir, this has a 1.3 megapixel camera, this even has a flash, this even has a memory slot extendable to 2GB. You can carry all your music”… and I kept thinking of a Nokia ad which tried to tell us that “phone sirf baat karne ke liye nahi hota hai”. Nokia did well for them selves – but did the customer really need all that. I am not so sure anymore.

Why are we so obsessed with getting everything into and onto a single device? First it was getting your watch and alarm clock merged into the cell phone, then it added your personal organizer, then your money manager, then it some video games, then it also replaced your camera, and then the FM radio, and walkman music player, then email and the works. All in one single device.

What next do we need in our cell phone – a mini-refrigerator? Or a cell phone on which I can actually sit and go to work.

Some of the sales pitch the sales guys wanted me to buy into just turned me off – and I was left counting the existing devices which I barely used. I have a Canon Powershot A590 5MP digital camera – a great camera which I barely use. I have a 1GB Creative Zen MP3 Player which again is lying somewhere around… My wife hasn’t used the camera or the music player on her Motorola V3i much either. If I am not the customer who is really using so many of the existing products or features they have – why am I even looking at a cell phone which has more of the same stuff?

Maybe one reason is that somewhere inside me I am trying to silently fit into the crowd – a society where upgrades every quarter have become a norm. Its not that I couldn’t entirely afford some of those models – but I wasn’t convinced at the end of the touch and feel exercise that spending 15k of my good hard earned money on something – of which I was going to use only 5k worth of features was a good bargain. If I am not the tech savvy gizmo freak kind of nerd – or the ‘cool hang out in the right gang’ kind of kid around the block – nor the image conscious techie who needs to make a point about the designation he has arrived – then why do I need the N and E or the P or Q series of the latest gadget. But the market will still ensure that you are told what you ought to buy… what is the right thing you should be seen with? The sales agents were probably second guessing my salary and thereby what budget they should make me raise the bar to.

As I said, the whole exercise left me all the more confused and I returned empty handed – still
wondering at 5AM right now… am I being too much of an ‘old school’.

Maybe I am asking a blasephemous question at a time when there is all the new buzz about the iPhone - and even more blasephemous given that my own bread and butter depends on people adopting newer technology...

At the end of Nokia 5300, 6270, N72, N83, SE 880, SE 770, Moto Ming, Ping ting, Pebble, RAZR, RIZR, KRZR… Krazy kiya re!!!


Desi Obsession - 'Phoren' maal hai...Imported hai...

Blood Diamond – starring Leonardo DiCaprio

Why are we Indian’s obsessed with foreign acceptance?

This is the question that has been frustrating me today…

Earlier today – I saw a not so well known TV actor Gaurav Chopra (has been seen in some TV soaps on Zee/Star Plus and also recently as the first round elimination along with his live-in partner Narayani Shastri on “Nach Baliye”) giving a loooooong interview to a TV news channel – about his part in the Hollywood blockbuster “Blood Diamond”… and his interactions with Leonardo DiCaprio. He even had anecdotes to share on how he was mistaken for an Italian football star – and how he and Leonardo had their trailers parked side by side….and the learnings he had from Leanardo about not having starry tantrums like the other stars in Bollywood do. Quite a lot of learning from less than 5 seconds of screen time with him…

Mistaken by this bravado – I went ahead and watched the movie later today…

Much like Mallika Sherawat’s much hyped appearance in “The Myth” which didn’t last more than two minutes… Gaurav’s appearance turned out to be lesser than that a 30-seconds long with barely an un-heard dialogue “there is no space inside”.

Had the TV channel even bothered to find out what he was upto in the movie...? What did Gaurav think before making such long statements...

What made Gaurav come on national television with such hype and pride? Maybe he thought not many will see the movie anyway (which is probably true) and yet he will get away with some brownie points… and some better scope with the talent hunters for the next soap on air… Or is it the sheer over powering urge we Indians have with getting a phoren’ stamp – be it the ‘now here now gone’ appearances of Gulshan Grover in Hollywood flicks which he doesn’t tire speaking about or be it the - ‘I will get an H1 before marriage at any cost’ attitude of each and every South Indians…we want a stamp of ‘phoren’ acceptance – irrespective of whether its worth anything at all. I have seen a few good close friends, who delayed getting married around the 2001 slowdown – just because they didn’t want to marry without an H1 stamped on their passports, bore the costs of their visa’s by paying the bodyshoppers, went to USA and hunted for tech jobs at their own cost – and once finally industry turned around and they stuck some good luck – they did get married too, the same traditional way they would have got married a good 2 years ago. But aaah… they wouldn’t have had the foreign colour to they visa that time.

Why is every Indian obsessed with when Aishwarya is doing her next Hollywood film, when Amitabh or Hrithik will break into a Los Angel’s movie career or what happened to Salam Khan’s Hollywood escapade “Marigold”, and what even an otherwise not-so-starry Kabir Bedi did in Hollywood or the American soaps like “Bold and Beautiful”…or when Sush will be seen alongside Richard Gere…or they never ending question - Oscar?

Be it the movie arena, or be it the whites adopting our age-old yoga, ayurveda, pranayama techniques or vedic thoughts - we seem to acknowledge and accept faster once the west has given a stamp of approval.

Are we still living in a colonial past…? Are we still burdened with the load of acceptance by the white skin…?

Friday, January 12, 2007

Apple and Microsoft Partnership...


An interesting archive...




And see that in perspective with this one...the story behind Microsoft and Apple.. (a spoof)




And see them now...

Monday, January 08, 2007

Grasshopper Politics – 'India Today'!!!

Found this floating on the internet – I don’t know who the real author is - but who ever wrote this managed to capture the truth of present day India so aptly…

OLD VERSION...


The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.


MODERN VERSION…

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.


NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?


Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house. Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance). Opposition MP's stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers. SamajHopperwadi Party and G-BSP each fight for the claim of being true messiah’s of grasshoppers and their true friends and each blame the other for having failed them. BJP recruits some grasshoppers into their national executive too to ensure some vote bank chances.


Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.


Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Institutions & in Govt Services.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.


Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden' Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly. The writer of this piece is condemned as an anti-national and anti-social right wing radical with no regard for the poor and downtrodden grasshopper...


Many years later...The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollar company in silicon valley.100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India...

Friday, December 29, 2006

Another New Year and a boring Post...

Another year passes by this weekend. Old calendars will be replaced with new ones on the wall – where ever they are still used… Some will party through the weekend, others still wondering what to do…

I am probably one among the others… For a few days now, I have been beleaguered with the question on what my plan for the New Years Eve is… every one seems to have a standard question on this. I wonder if not having any plan is a plan in itself… I can claim it to be so – if I can loan from what PV Narasimha Rao once said about his governments’ indecision on Ayodhya issue “Deciding not to take a decision is a decision too”.


Well, that’s it for me… I have decided not to have a plan. For that matter, I am still clueless how the New Years is any different. Unless you are sure of dying within next one year, every other day is a New Year day…. Ok…somewhat over philosophical… I take that back. Neither do I want to get into a rant of how New Years is a western celebration…

Actually my dilemma is more basic…wife is out of town, friends are busy parenting this weekend, work is on a slow lane – a long weekend (two in succession actually) suddenly looks too much of a respite. Though I have a pretty long ‘to-do list’… I am not sure if that would count as a decent plan to have for the New Years…

So in nut-shell I am still looking for a socially acceptable answer to “What’s the plan for New Years”…

Another question that’s likely to rounds next is – “What new year resolutions (NYR) did you make?”… Damn!!! This never goes out of fashion… Somehow cliché’ never killed it….

It still lives… in spite of the fact that NYRs are just that…resolutions for that day – with a shelf life of barely a few weeks into January. Actually I do have a good claim to having kept an old NYR… when I resolved not to make any more NYRs.

I don’t know why you are still reading this totally boring post – I am just yanking off at the keyboard just to alleviate my own boredom.

The mass emails wishing me well for the New Year are back… wonder how many of them would care to send these wishes if they had to pay for those e-cards or emails.

News Channels and papers are back too with their routine New Year masala’s…

Vote for the Man of the Year… Indian of the Year, NRI of the Year, Bangalorean of the year, Mumbaikar of the year, Chinch-pokli’te of the year, Politician of the year, Sportsman of the year, Actor of the year, Item girl of the year, Reality show hero of the year, Idiot of the year,...

(Bore of the year (this post is my self-nomination))… If you want to vote for me...please send an SMS instructing your bank to transfer money to my account.

Kya tamasha hai…? Actually it just doesn't stop there... there are also contests on for phone of the year, car of the year, bike of the year, Mp3 player of the year, pyjama of the year, underwear of the year.... and so on. Don't worry - the latter categories too will come next year for real...

TIME just kept it simple this year – announcing that YOU and I all; are the winners… Wonder why YOU and I lost last year though…and all the previous years… Damn!!! They didn’t even tell me so far…

New year's day seemed to have some meaning sometime back... or maybe it was just the childhood factor - when you try to seek some pleasure and meaning in everything. A new calendar actually used to be brought - and first thing one would do was to note down which day birthdays and holidays were on... The New Year eve TV shows were the celebration event for the family... Thank God there was no 'remote' back then to spoil the fun.

Maybe I am just getting old...

Monday, December 18, 2006

Sreesanth Swinging His Bat?



Take One more look... Doesn't it seem as if India was chasing and he win the winning shot!!!

Win in SA - 2

The win over South Africa in Wanderer’s has come at a time when the Indian cricket fan had totally got dejected – down and almost out. The stars have been a jaded image of their dazzling past for a long while, and even without any great change in form of the stars, the team has risen to give a fresh lease of life to the ‘cricket fan’.

Indian cricket has been reeling under the pressure of too much of media attention – there is a good feel factor about this success – since the victory came on the shoulders of the not-so in the prime stars. Sreesanth – with or without his antics – was brilliant. Zaheer was dropped and recalled not too long ago… Sourav and VVS have been in and out – the former captain having gone through the worst phase of his career in last 6 months or so.

Kumble – in spite of being the old war-horse of the team and having feats not lesser than those of any of the other stars in the team – is never for some reason given the star treatment…

The tigers on paper for once rocked as a team – instead of individual dazzles…

But even today, when the team just needed to complete some formalities for the win - the age-old skepticism was alive in the fans… each of us wondering inside us – will it really happen. Each of us scared that there was still a possibility for the team to goof it up from even such a strong position. Hasn’t it happened so many times earlier… Pollock smashing a few too many gave some such scares… Is it that the confidence of Indian cricket fan has been shaken and smashed so often, that we don’t believe it till the bails are still on.


Will this ever change?

As an Indian cricket fan – I am scared. Would this one win again set the team back on its complacency track – get them back in front of more camera’s shooting more endorsements – or would it really help the team get up and running from now on…?

As usual – I still have my fingers crossed – hoping for the best…

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